“Start Where You Are”
I have to admit it, I get caught up in some grandiose idea of what my creations need to be. I feel many artists struggle with taking action to start something when they have a perfectionistic ideal of their artform. What happens then? Nothing. You never start because your too damn afraid to. I live and breathe this every day.
I was on my daily walk, no…run yesterday where I met God at the beach. I call it God, Universe, Spirit, or anything that my heart aligns with that day. I’ve been feeling quite a lot lately as I feel the urge to begin vocalizing the real story I’ve buried deeply and been too afraid to share for far too long. It’s my personal hurdles, my triumphs, my spiritual awakenings - yes, awakenings because on this journey you don’t just go through the one and done practice, transformations and so much more. I ask God for guidance and in particular yesterday I asked, “where do I start?” As if I was walking with a dear friend, I heard a response immediately, “Start where you are.” And that was it. Simple, uncomplicated and to the point.
So, where am I? Well, the business has had some growth this week that I am proud to have accomplished and that allows me a extra bit of peace to begin stripping away the layers I have hid beneath my cheerful exterior. A blessing indeed.
I consider the question, “how do I awaken the divine feminine within me?” Perfect answer, “Start where you are.” I can’t say my journey has been linear. There were points in time where I can recall something that struck my heart and soul, like a remembering of sorts that what life has been programmed and structured as isn’t all there is. We’ve been duped to be honest. The fact that we even exist on this planet at this time and space is nothing short of a miracle. When you begin to treat life this way, you open yourself up to a whole new appreciation and gratitude for the way you live each and every day.
My god, when I think back to the way I used to live and operate, feel about myself, about work, about relationships, money and material things, I wonder how we could all buy into such a short-sighted view of life? It makes me so sad and yet what a glorious opportunity to grab life by the balls now and say, “I’m doing it MY way.” Let it be messy and raw. Allow the old to rise, give grace and empathy to yourself and experiences you’ve lived through and take charge to make the changes you’re ready to.
So where did it begin for me? A book. Many Lives, Many Masters by Dr. Brian L. Weiss. My Mom said, “I think you’ll enjoy this,” as she handed it to me back in 1997. I’ll admit, I’m not a strong reader but I was curious as the subtitle read, “The true story of a Prominent Psychiatrist, His Young Patient, and the Past-Life Therapy that Changed Both Their Lives.” Now, I was raised Catholic and reincarnation was not believed in according to my religious upbringing. That never sat right with me and apparently, it didn’t either for my mother.
(*Note -This will be a bit of a spoiler of the book)
Dr. Weiss recounted the story of when he met Catherine, a woman who suffered from many nightmares and anxiety attacks that basically left her incapable of living any sort of normal life. Phobias and fears paralyzed her that made no sense and had no tie to her current life that could be easily accessed for treatment by Dr. Weiss. At his breaking point, he chose to go a different route and try hypnosis to get to the root cause of these issues. What he didn’t expect was that she began to recall memories of past lives where these fears and phobias were first created. As he walked her through the experiences of them, they began to dissipate in her current life. There was something more to this and he wasn’t a believer until she began to channel messages that pertained to his own life in her ‘life between lives’ from Masters in the beyond. Only then was he able to drop his disbelief and feel the power of what is present in the world beyond us.
I couldn’t put the book down and that says a lot! I began to relate my own inner fears that had no rhyme or reason to have in this life to the possibility that they didn’t stem from this life, but rather another one before this. It broke me open to inherently know…there’s so much more I need to discover.
It hasn’t been a solid dedication to diving deeper into the spiritual realm since then. It became more of an uncovering, like peeling back an onion as I went along. Past lives then lead to tarot that same year. I wasn’t fully committed. I dabbled. I was a dabbler for a good 10 to 15 years until I discovered Reiki and that’s when my world broke open and I could never look at life the same way again.
The moral of all of this, start where you are. I’m not sure what your journey looks like, nor if you have even started one yet. What I can tell you is, “get curious.” The greatest part of my journey was allowing the teachers and guides to come forth along the way and trust that when you are ready, they will show up! I’m so grateful that my mother gave me the opportunity to expand and allowed me the space to do it on my own terms and timing. She’s never been pushy nor judging of what my beliefs and opinions are, but rather has been a resource for my growth. She’s also been my friend when events pop-up and we get to experience breakthroughs and understandings to expand our minds and hearts to a spiritual world that can assist us to address, heal and move forward in life.
It was 1997 when she handed me that book. In 2017, she and I attended and completed our certification of Past-Life Regression Therapy with Dr. Weiss at the Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, New York. It all came full circle.
Whatever the call may be, do it with an open mind and open heart. Let your curiosity be your guide and follow the inklings and signs to your soul’s desire. And remember, start where you are.
XO
